In the studio today I painted for 3 hrs. I painted blue. Not just the colour of blue, but the feeling of blue. Blue Blue Blue… naples yellow, ultra marine and titanium white. Slowly mixing unconsciously a colour that is not a colour, but, a presence of….Making it present, making it center of attention and felt.
Pure emotion – can it be painted?
Blue today is for my brother. Blue that he is not here. Blue that he won’t be present as he was, after passing on, early in May this year. My hero brother, my mentor, my inspiration, my world. The brother who was so full of creativity, imagination and love. Who would weave the wildest stories. The big brother who supported my creativity, my art and made me feel so proud of, who I am today, after all, I had gone through in my life. A brother who always believed in others before himself
The blue in the studio today is his presence and my deepest feelings of loss and loss regained. I don’t know if I can paint any more without hearing his voice, forever telling me to keep doing what your doing and reminding me of all the reasons why I should. So gradually, I will just have to get on with it only in a different way.
I think I might just let the paintings stay blue in the studio today…..
From my diary a few days after the passing of my brother 4/05/2023
Tags: abstract painting, artists studio, grief, moving on, outlook8studio